5 Things Not To Do After a Breakup

We are at our most vulnerable state following a breakup. Our hearts have been shattered and we are left to pick up the pieces and put them back together again. While we all have our own ways of dealing with heartbreak and loss, we all have one end goal…to be whole again. While that might sound dramatic and corny and you’re sitting there thinking, “Omg". Stop being so dramatic. Breakups happen. Eat a quart of ice cream and get over it,” breakups suck and there is not way to sugar coat it.


 1) Don’t begin looking for another relationship.

I can not stress this one enough. Jumping back into another relationship immediately after ending one is not a wise decision. Your heart needs time to heal and you need to find yourself again. Relationships change us. We learn a lot about ourselves and whether we realize it or not, we change. We begin liking different things and our views of the world change. The few months following a breakup should be spent re-discovering ourselves and really focusing on healing. There is plenty of time to dive into a relationship later. Go grab a bottle of moscato and a giant chocolate cake and just wallow for a bit. It may sound super pathetic but trust me, you’re going to enjoy every second of it.

2.) Don’t Social Media Stalk Your Ex

Speaking from previous experience, this is the least productive thing you can do post breakup. It is super tempting and you may think it will give you some type of closure but the only thing it will do is turn you into a jealous, paranoid, super depressed, emotional mess. Trust me on this one. I have spent one too many nights laying on my bed thinking up hypothetical scenarios about my ex and his new girlfriend, all of which involve them getting captured by an evil queen who uses them to make human stew. Yes, I am aware that my imagination runs wild when i’m upset.

3.) Don’t Air Your Dirty Laundry on Social Media

Breakups are very personal and should be dealt with in a private matter. Your 534 Facebook friends and Twitter followers don’t need to know the dirty details of your breakup. All that will do is start unnecessary drama  and result in unwarranted comments from people you know and internet strangers. If you need to talk to someone, call a friend and vent. It’s therapeutic and you’ll be talking to someone who actually cares about you and your well being.

4.) Don’t Use Your New Fling To Start Drama With Your Ex

Breakups are lonely and we often turn to flings or one night stands for attention and intimacy. While it’s perfectly normal to turn to a rebound, don’t use them to stir stuff up with your ex. It’s immature and petty and will end up biting you in the ass.

5.) Don’t Pretend You’re Okay

It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to wallow. It’s perfectly normal, actually. We’re human. We love hard and fall even harder. It’s in our most vulnerable of mounts that we discover how strong we really are. You just lost something very important to you and you need to and deserve to mourn that loss. Express yourself and your feelings. Take your time to feel. Once you start feeling okay and you feel yourself becoming whole again, swipe on some red lipstick and whip out the stilettos because honey, you made it and you are ready to conquer the world.